Building Rapport With NLP
Ever met someone with whom you hit it off with straight away? Someone who seemed to have exactly the same views
as you and mirrored the excitement that you felt at having met someone so similar? If so then you know what real
rapport feels like.
Imagine being able to touch people on a level that they have never been touched before. Imagine
being able to walk into a room and have the people in there instantly like you.
Using NLP you can deliberately create the feeling of rapport with anyone you want.
First of all let’s look at how rapport is created in the first place.
Rapport is essentially an act of communication and communication is more than just verbal. Communication means body
language, tonality and facial expressions. Ever had someone tell you what a great idea that was and you not believe
them? The chances are that some part of their communication voice, body language or facial expression did not back
up this statement which set of your internal alarm bells.
So what you need to do is convince the person you want to create rapport with that the two of you are very similar.
Most NLP practitioner courses will teach you to mirror that persons body language but quite frankly unless you are
very practised this lack subtlety and can actually annoy the person you are doing it to thus creating the exact
opposite result that you wanted.
In fact you need to also mirror such things as breathing rate and speaking patterns if you want to develop a deep
level rapport. Studies have shown that people who are in love tend to breathe and speak at the same speed thus
helping to create that feeling of having met someone special who understands you on a level that few have
There are of course even more advanced techniques which, if used wrongly can assist in the development of stalkers
but you will not find these techniques written down or talked about and few people will teach you them. There are
also techniques for destroying rapport and getting rid of people but yet again these are considered by many in the
community to be ‘dark’ and are therefore rarely talked about or taught. The fact is that few people can teach these
techniques effectively as an extremely deep level of understanding about NLP is needed.
Individuals who are practised in these techniques have a definite advantage over other people. Picking the right
NLP practitioner course with the right trainers will ensure you get to understand these advanced techniques.
An Exercise in Building Rapport with NLP
Let’s do a basic exercise – find a person that you want to create rapport with. Now as you are talking with them
start to notice their breathing rate and speech patters. These two will tend to reflect each other. For example
does the person speak fast? If so then chances are their breathing rate will be quite fast as well. Start to
subtlety match these (without being too blatant or out of character). Also start to notice such things as emotional
intensity and start to match that. Over the next few days start doing these things with people and see what it does
for you. As you start to become effective you will begin to notice a difference in the way people respond to you
and you to them.
By now you probably realise that these techniques would be extremely useful to someone who works in sales,
management, politics in fact just about any area of life you can imagine. Consider going in to see your boss to ask
for a pay rise! What do you think creating a deep level of rapport beforehand would do for your chances? Or how
about going into an interview room and creating such a level of rapport with the person interviewing you that
simply cannot not give you the job?
By studying rapport building techniques and practising them daily all of the above and more would be within your
grasp. Imagine, for example, if that person you fancied felt as though they were connecting with you on a level
that they have never felt before. Do you think that this would increase your chances of persuading that person to
go out with you?
Rintu Basu is the only NLP and Hypnotic Persuasion Trainer in the UK. Having worked with businesses, the police
service and the finacial sector. His latest venture is developingPersuasion Techniquesand high quality publicNLP trainingcourses. For more about building rapport with NLP check out the website